{"id":1571,"date":"2005-01-31T23:24:54","date_gmt":"2005-02-01T06:24:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.dreamdawn.com\/sh\/post_view.php?index=1571"},"modified":"2005-01-31T23:24:54","modified_gmt":"2005-02-01T06:24:54","slug":"do-yourself-a-favor","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/horror.dreamdawn.com\/?p=1571","title":{"rendered":"Do yourself a favor…"},"content":{"rendered":"

… don’t go see Alone in the Dark<\/a>. After getting 1% on RottenTomatoes.com<\/a> and a 9\/100 on Metacritic<\/a>, I knew I had to see this film. $6.50 (matinee showing, thank god) and 90 minutes later, I can say with certainty that Alone in the Dark is one of the worst films I have ever seen.<\/p>\n

It’s not the worst of all time, though. That honor goes to Manos: Hands of Fate<\/a>, which is truly, truly awful. But Alone in the Dark might be second. I’ve seen a lot of movies, including just about every terrible horror flick produced in the ’80s and ’90s. This is worse than all of them. Remember Tails from the Hood<\/a>? Or I Come In Peace<\/a>, starring Dolph Lundgren? Alone in the Dark is worse than those. Thought that video games-into-movies could never stoop below Street Fighter<\/a> or Super Mario Bros.<\/a>? You thought wrong.<\/p>\n

So yeah, it’s terrible. And the worst part is that it is so bad that it’s not even so-bad-it’s-funny-bad. It’s surpassed the funny-bad point and ventured completely into the realm of un-fucking-believably bad. I expected to laugh through the movie, but mostly my mouth was agape. This is a new low for Christian Slater. Come on man, you were in Pump Up the Volume<\/a> and True Romance<\/a>! Even your work on Broken Arrow<\/a> is cinema gold compared to this drivel. How could you accept that script?? And why oh why did you make a movie where Tara Reid is cast as an archeologist?!<\/p>\n

In summary, don’t go to see Alone in the Dark<\/b>. The game upon which the concept is loosely based<\/a> (and the degree of looseness here is extreme) is far better than the movie itself, and it wasn’t that great to begin with. Spend your $9.00 on a used PS1 or Dreamcast copy–it’ll last longer and you’ll get far more enjoyment out of it. <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

… don’t go see Alone in the Dark. After getting 1% on RottenTomatoes.com and a 9\/100 on Metacritic, I knew I had to see this film. $6.50 (matinee showing, thank god) and 90 minutes later, I can say with certainty that Alone in the Dark is one of the worst films I have ever seen. […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[9,4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1571","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-movies","category-reviews"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/horror.dreamdawn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1571","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/horror.dreamdawn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/horror.dreamdawn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/horror.dreamdawn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/horror.dreamdawn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=1571"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/horror.dreamdawn.com\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1571\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/horror.dreamdawn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=1571"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/horror.dreamdawn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcategories&post=1571"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/horror.dreamdawn.com\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Ftags&post=1571"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}