The Shape of Anger at Bad Movies

Since my thoughts on movies are so amazingly popular, I thought I’d post a few more.

  • The Brood is a pretty great horror film by David Cronenberg. It’s pretty hard to go wrong with demon children, and Cronenberg does an excellent job with suggestion and understatement. The demon kids all wear similar winter coats, you never really get to see them up close, and the movie wastes very little time trying to explain everything away. The climax of the film is pretty shocking too. Also, the movie is old enough (1979) that everybody’s clothing has gone back to being cool again after losing its vogue for twenty years.
  • … and on the other side of the quality coin, we have Versus, a horrifically long movie about, well, people fighting in the woods. There are zombies or some shit too, I don’t know. The whole movie is nonsensical, the acting is horrible, and it is about an hour longer than it needs to be. You know how some manga and anime series have this problem where they spend like 50 books/episodes on a single, never ending fight? This is the cinemagraphic embodiment of that failure. Seriously, the film was so bad that by the end we were watching the DVD time display and hoping that the 118 minutes listed on the back of the box included the credits, or if we were really lucky, the trailers. Avoid at all costs.

5 thoughts on “The Shape of Anger at Bad Movies

  1. I actually liked Versus, but not because it was a good movie. For some reason i find some movies to be good because of there faults it gave me a good laugh at times. Then again i’ve never actually sat down and watched the whole movie at once. It’s been coming on one of the movie chanels so i just catch from time to time at diffrent parts of it.
    I guess not seen in small doses it could be a bit much. oh well

    This part of your review,
    “Seriously, the film was so bad that by the end we were watching the DVD time display and hoping that the 118 minutes listed on the back of the box included the credits…”

    Sounds a lot like how I felt while reading the 5th ‘Harry Potter’ book. Ordinarily a fine series of books, HP #5 dragged on forever, long stretches of tedium, and I kept thinking, “Please, please, end already…” – LOL

    I’m happy to say that HP #6 was a vast improvement over #5, there was more action.
    Die Zombie Die, a site about scary video games:

    Yeah, Battle Royale 2 gets boring after the opening credits. HORRIBLE! The first one was bad enough, you think I would have learned my lesson. I was also watching the clock on that one.

    I highly recommend the book though.

  4. Versus is alright…it’s just that I had the urge to plug in a controller in and finish the bad guys off myself.

  5. At least from what I’ve read, Versus wasn’t really meant to be a serious horror. It was basically meant to be what it exactly is: a mindless, non-stop martial arts action romp with zombies. Its fun that way. If you want to see Kitamura’s other films, check out “Azumi” or “Godzilla: Final Wars” The latter is especially fun, as it wallows in its cliches without ignoring them. Very good film, that one.

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